Just don't get it

I understand that sometimes it's fashion over function, but you don't get to wear skin coloured tights in this tropical country!!! Just don't do it!!!

Miss Delta soap...love it

I had a surprisingly enjoyable night out last night. The Muson centre was host to the Miss Delta soap beauty pageant. The invitation said start time 6pm but my girl (and date) decided that 5.30 was the perfect time to head to nail place for a manicure pedicure (she was launching her jimmy choo's and she felt the pedicure could not let the side down). To cut a long story short she got to mine at 9.30ish and we got there just before 10. I was expecting the whole thing to be over, yet again I had managed to underestimate the Nigerian Late factor. Anyway we got there just in time. The contestants came down in their evening wear. Some designer (????) JD7 had put the poor creatures in ill fitting, positively horrid, unforgiving satin in garish colour which the poor things had to wiggle down the catwalk in. The hair and makeup was unremarkable but the best bit was the final 5 questions and answer session. I have to admit that some of the questions (who is your state senator, what are the colours of the Nigerian flag and who is the current president of USA) were a bit simple but Miss Anambra got a question about the difference between Good luck Jonathan's job as vice president and his job now as acting president and I must say she blew me away with her answer. All about having executive powers and being the commander in chief of blah blah blah. I thought she would have to win based on that alone. Miss Lagos won in the end. (Most thought this was political) She was a sassy number. The stranger next to me kept going on about how fat she was to which I wanted to reply "but you're ugly and there is nothing you can do about that". I kept my tongue coz she looked like she would fight dirty and as I am always saying I am all mouth and no trousers!!! She got a good cash prize and a brand spanking new BMW.

I really was quite proud at the moment when she got her crown. God willing another person’s life has been changed for the better by a locally grown locally sponsored event. We need more like this, where we can celebrate the brains and beauty of the diverse people of our country.

I may have said local a few too many times there. They really did it in grand style. The hall was beautifully decorated and there was pyrotechnics, live music and loads of drinks so well done.

On to my mini trauma of the night. We waited behind to do some hobnobbing as my girl is good friends with the owner of Orange drugs so we were there till the bitter end. A couple of girls behind us, obviously friends of the winner, were behind us doing the dance of joy. Suddenly I felt something splash on my upper arm. I turn around to see what it is and one of the girl's was quickly apologetic. I was still puzzled as I could not see what she could have possible thrown on me. I turn around again just in time to see her using a little piece of cardboard to scrape the sweat off her chest (where it was running like a river) and flick it away. It is now apparent what had landed on my arm and understandably, I thought, I freaked out a little. She gets all upset at me (WTF I'm the one who got contaminated) and comes over all aggressive with "I said I was sorry and I don't have eczema" I told her that I accepted her apology but I am still allowed to freak out. She starts mouthing off about treating people how you want to be treated reh reh reh and all I had to say was "In that case you should not have flicked your sweat all over me and I am done talking to you now!"
Was I wrong to freak out?